Mirror Mirror on the wall….whose reflection ? undermining behaviours

When the wicked queen in snow white said those words she was waiting for a reply- her mirror was enchanted of course but it makes me wonder. Are negative behaviours the reflection of a person ?.  As  I read about student midwives that are bullied in placement by mentors. I feel that we need to understand the reflection that the bully has in the mirror. I mean “what makes a person become a bully?”.

The wicked queen in snow white is definitely a bully isn’t she ?. ( she is extreme I know – no poison apples please !!)

BUT what do we know about her ?

She married a widow with a young beautiful daughter, she is angry and jealous of the daughter.

I know this is a fairytale but stick with me –  does JEALOUSY develop a bully?.

Now think about the wicked queen again … what could we tell her about Snow White?.

Snow White is kind , caring and shows compassion, forgiving but she is strong.

These are wonderful attributes that the queen does know but when the wicked queen looks to the mirror she asks “Mirror Mirror on the wall , whom is the fairest of them all?”.

She is looking at herself and she knows the answer so she is fired up with anger and jealousy. The point being that it is her reflection not Snow Whites that angers her.

Now , think about the student midwife , she may be young (ish) , kind , caring , passionate about midwifery and EBP. Her mentor may see these qualities. She may be JEALOUS that this is no longer her reflection in a mirror ?. How does she react ? She behaves negatively and is a “bully”. She undermines the student and talks down to her. Is she angry with herself for not having the reflection that she used to have ? …. The loss of positivity and belief in midwifery that led her to the profession.

An idea – finding that lost positivity ? it may be a difficult challenge to look at the reflection in the mirror and ask “Mirror Mirror  on the wall, where has the midwife in me gone that I used to see in the mirror ?”

Just a few thoughts….. #fairytale

3 thoughts on “Mirror Mirror on the wall….whose reflection ? undermining behaviours

  1. I think there is a lot of truth in what you have written here Nat. Certainly jealously underpins the way that midwives don’t want a student to get their ‘catches’ – it seems that midwives egos are caught up in the ‘hands on’ the baby and being the accoucher – it’s probably the accolades that come from the woman and her family that is highly coveted in this situation. The big question is, how do we position growing the next generation of midwives as a really wonderful, rewarding thing to do – even more impressive than catching a baby – because in reality, the woman gives birth and if we do our job right, she and her partner are the heroes? Perhaps midwives need to be valued more across the board for their vast range of skills? Maybe performance appraisals can focus on the number of positive interactions with students and beginner midwives? Our profession needs to do some good, creative thinking here to determine what’s needed to make mentoring and coaching the new and beginner midwives a highly prized activity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carolyn Thankyou, you have given me lots to #reflect on. Value to the skills of midwives – teaching ,supporting , building confidence in women and student midwives – helping them to #flourish .
      totally, get the “your not having my delivery ” , heard it quite a bit and makes me sad .
      Future midwives growing #acornic need #oak midwives to nourish and enrich .

      Liked by 1 person

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